New York, Feb 15 (THAINDIAN NEWS) Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped and held as a captive for 18 years. During her captivity she kept a journal, and its entries recently became public in the court. She writes in her journal that she hoped to be free, as soon as possible but at the same time, she also wanted that her kidnappers would not face any harm, as she didn’t want to hurt them in anyway.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” she wrote in 2003 in her journal. “Sometimes I think my very presence hurts him…so how can I ever tell him how I want to be free. Free to come and go as I please… Free to say I have a family. I will never cause him pain it it’s in my power to prevent it. FREE.” Her captors had quite a hold on her, which is reflected in her 2004’s entry. “It feels like I’m sinking. I’m afraid I want control of my life,” Jaycee Dugard wrote. “This is supposed to be my life to do with what I like…but once again he has taken it away. How many times is he allowed to take it away from me? I am afraid he doesn’t see how the things he says makes (sic) me a prisoner…Why don’t I have control of my life! I feel I can’t even be sure my thoughts are my own…”

It may be recalled that Jaycee Dugard was a carefree teenager in 1991, when she was unfortunately kidnapped and was made a sex-slave too for her abductors. She was freed in August 2009 after 18 years of captivity, and after also giving birth to two children, fathered by her abductor. Her abductor Phillip Garrido is a registered sex offender who police say raped her repeatedly over the years. He also fathered two daughters Angel and Starlit. The little girls have never been to school, neither to any doctor and seem to have very limited contact with the outside world.