The most shocking and outrageous school exam howlers! (Re - issue)November 26th, 2007 - 12:31 pm ICT by admin
London, Nov 26 (ANI): To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow, a consonant is a large piece of land surrounded by water, the wife of a duke is a dukky, a circle is a figure with no corners and only one side. No, these are not bizarre imaginations, but some of the worst and shocking blunders committed by real students while writing their exams.
From time and again students have committed some shocking and outrageous howlers in their exams, leaving both teachers and parents shaken.
Now, an author has come up with a collection of the most unbelievable clangers in a book entitled Must Try Harder! The Very Worst Howlers By Schoolchildren.
And the writer, Norman McGreevy, insists that all the gaffes are drawn from real exams and essays, reports the Daily Mail.
Writing about their schooldays, some students marvelously wrote - all teachers at our school are certified; the headmaster caned me only on rear occasions; our school is ventilated by hot currants.
Some of the worst howlers in the realm of books and words include: a fairy tale is something that never happened a long time ago; Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway, but he mostly lived at Windsor with his merry wives; and poetry is when every line starts with a capital letter and doesn’t reach the right side of the page.
Some students totally changed historical facts with the following blunders:
King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery; Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships with her face; Alexander the Great conquered Persia, Egypt and Japan. Sadly he died with no hair; Joan of Arc was burned to a steak; and victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks.
According to a science and medicine buff, if anyone faints, we should put the persons head between the knees of the nearest medical man. Other science gaffes include: Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows; crude oil is a vicious substance; to germinate is to become a naturalised German; the Earth makes a resolution every 24 hours; and pine is an example of a carnivorous tree.
A student believes that the Jews were a proud people, but always had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. Others said that Solomon had 300 wives and 700 cucumbers; the Philistines are islands in the Pacific; and Pompeii was destroyed by an overflow of saliva from the Vatican.
Some of the other worst exam howlers are:
The Mona Lisa was the most beautiful woman ever to be laid on canvas.
An octogenarian is an animal which has eight young at birth
The largest mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them
Parallel lines never meet unless you bend one or both of them
Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery
The U.S.S.R. and the U.S.A. became global in power, but Europe remained incontinent
If you cross XY and XX chromosomes, you get XX (female), YY (male) and XY (undecided).
Tags: alexander the great, anne hathaway, black death, blunders, boobs, consonant, currants, exam howlers, headmaster, helen of troy, joan of arc, king arthur, mail, medical man, merry wives, piece of land, schooldays, science, shivery, thousand ships