Oscar Wilde polled ‘Britain’s Greatest ever wit’

November 14th, 2007 - 2:17 am ICT by admin  
The author, who once famously quipped to US customs that ‘ I have nothing to declare but my genius’, was followed by famous humourist Spike Milligan at the second spot.

Stephen Fry and Jeremy Clarkson secured third and fourth places receptively, in the survey that had more than 3,000 respondents.

British leader Winston Churchill rounded off the top five, reports the Daily Mail.

Britain’s top ten wits and their famous one-liners are as follows

1 Oscar Wilde: “Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”

2 Spike Milligan: “A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.”

3 Stephen Fry: “It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue”

4 Jeremy Clarkson: “We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. I want to drive around in a Terminator, not the heroine in an EM Forster novel.”

5 Sir Winston Churchill: “I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

6 Paul Merton: “My school days were the happiest of my life: which should give you some indication of the misery I’ve endured over the past twenty five years.”

7 Noel Coward: “Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar. Never spread it about like marmalade.”

8 William Shakespeare: “Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.”

9 Brian Clough: “I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business, but I was in the top one”

10 Liam Gallagher: “She can’t even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book.” (on Victoria Beckham). (ANI)

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