Secure couples manage conflicts better

September 23rd, 2008 - 12:26 pm ICT by IANS  

Sydney, Sep 23 (IANS) Couples who feel secure with each other are more likely to work out their problems in a spirit of give and take, rather than avoid them. Swinburne University doctoral student Sue Whelan found that the degree of security people feel with their partner may impact their dealings with conflicts in relationships.

“If each person could understand and lean a little closer to their partner’s conflict resolution style, they could begin to communicate a lot better and stop interpreting the other person’s way of dealing with conflict as a personal attack or simply problematic,” said Whelan.

Whelan surveyed 101 heterosexual couples who were practically living as husband and wives for varying periods of time and about how they resolved conflict, their degree of relationship security and marital satisfaction.

“Research has shown that individuals who are anxious and insecure in their attachment style generally have less success in relationships,” said Whelan, reports Sciencealert.

“This is because a person who is insecurely attached to their partner will tend to deal with conflict by either escalating passionate arguments to resolve their problems so they can remain in constant contact with their partners or by avoiding discussion of their problems.”

As a practising marital psychologist, Whelan has found that common problem areas for distressed couples are conflict resolution and a lack of behaviour that helps each person in a couple to feel secure.

She presented her findings at the ongoing Australian Psychological Society conference.

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