Thaindian News

London, Jun 10 (IANS) The saying “It’s better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all” is true, scientists say, as regrets can actually spur us on to future success by ensuring that we take chances in the future to avoid missing out on career or love success.

The pain of lost chances lingers on far longer than the short term regret of doing something wrong, according to the study by two US universities.

“We tend to regret matters that are most important to us. People crave strong, stable social relationships and are unhappy when they lack them,” said study author Prof Mike Morrison, from the University of Illinois, US, reports the journal Sage.

“Regret can be painful, but it can also be useful. Some people say they try to live without regret and I think that’s being unfair to the human condition. If we try to squeeze regrets away, we’re sacrificing a bit of our humanity,” he added.

Researchers identified two different types of regret - action regrets, based on something which had actually happened, and inaction regrets, which concerned something a person didn’t do but wishes he had.

They surveyed 370 adults, evenly split between men and women, who were asked to discuss one strong regret in detail, whether it was an action or inaction regret and how long the pain lasted for afterwards. The most common regrets were about love, education and work.

Romantic regrets proved particularly painful, with many of those interviewed dwelling on lost chances for potential romances, or relationships that didn’t work out.

And results revealed that action regrets were initially very painful, but didn’t linger as long as inaction regrets.

They also showed that ‘love outcomes were regretted more than career outcomes’ and that action regrets were more severe when they resulted in a big personal loss - such as that of a partner or loved one.

However, the authors also claimed that regrets - particularly inaction ones - can spur us onto future success, as they drive us to take chances and make sure we don’t suffer the same feeling of missing out again.

Prof Morrison and co-author Prof Neal Roese, from Northwestern University, Chicago, wrote: “A key principle of regret regulation theory is that regrets are more intense for more personally important and reversible outcomes.”