Praying for wrong doers makes you forgive them
January 28th, 2010 - 7:48 pm ICT by IANSWashington, Jan 28 (IANS) Praying for those who have wronged you can actually help you forgive them, research says.
Florida State University (FSU) psychologist Nathaniel Lambert was faced with the question: Is it possible that directed prayer might spark forgiveness in those doing the praying and in the process preserve relationships?
Lambert and his colleagues decided to test this scientifically in two experiments.
In the first, they had a group of men and women pray one single prayer for their romantic partner’s well being. Others - the experimental controls - they simply described their partner, speaking into a tape recorder.
Then they measured forgiveness. The scientists defined forgiveness as lessening of the initial negative feelings that arise when you’ve been wronged.
Their results showed that those who had prayed for their partner harboured fewer vengeful thoughts and emotions - they were more ready to forgive and move on.
If one single prayer can cause such a striking difference in feelings, then what could prayer over a period of time do for a relationship?
In the second study, the researchers had a group of men and women pray for a close friend every day for four weeks. Others simply reflected on the relationship, thinking positive thoughts but not praying for their friend’s well-being. They also added another dimension.
They used a scale to measure selfless concern for others - not any particular person but other people generally. They speculated that prayer would increase selfless concern, which in turn would boost forgiveness, said an FSU release.
And that’s just what they found. But why? How does this common spiritual practice exert its healing effects? The psychological scientists have an idea.
Prayer appears to shift attention from the self back to others, which allows the resentments to fade.
The findings appeared in Psychological Science.
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Tags: emotions, experimental controls, florida state university, forgiveness, fsu, jan 28, men and women, negative feelings, period of time, positive thoughts, pray one, prayer, psychological science, psychologist, resentments, romantic partner, spiritual practice, striking difference, tape recorder, wrong doers