What does he really mean when he says ”I love you”October 12th, 2008 - 4:43 pm ICT by ANI
London, Oct 12 (ANI): Love surely makes people go crazy. They might feel something but say something else - and their partners will hear something completely different. Now, a new guide is set to bridge the communication gap between the sexes.
The communication gap between the sexes has been an enigma for a long time, and now the guide by TV psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos, ”What Men Say, What Women Hear” is set to bridge the ever-existing gap, reports The Sun.
In order to know what “manspeak” is all about, Dr Papadopoulos analysed some typical conversations between men and women and revealed what exactly goes on in a man’’s head.
Conversation after a date:
He says: “I had a great time, should I call you?”
She thinks: He’’s trying to get rid of me.
She says: “Yeah, sure. Thanks for tonight. See you soon.”
He thinks: That’’s not exactly enthusiastic. I”m not going to humiliate myself by pushing it.
According to Linda, a girl shouldn”t think negatively about the man when he is really being genuine. It’’s not just a brush-off when a bloke asks to call you. Men do not have a pre-rehearsed set of words to say, so it’’s wrong to prejudge their expectations. If you”re unsure if he’’s interested, the best way is to ask him directly.
Conversation after meeting the parents:
She says: “You and your dad were having fun, weren”t you?”
She means: I wasn”t, though . . .
He says: “Yeah, it was great to see them.”
She says: “Hmmm, sure.”
He hears: I don”t like your family.
In Linda’’s opinion, that’’s what happens when a girlfriend feels left out by her man’’s family. So, rather than being defensive, the issue should be dealt as a couple and the lady should make it a point that her comments about his family do not cross the line of accusation.
Conversation at time of emotional unavailability:
He says: (while watching a weepie film) “Are you OK?”
He means: Why are you crying?
She says: “Sure, it just reminded me of a sad time in my life.”
He thinks: What’’s this film got to do with your life? This is making me feel awkward. I don”t know how to deal with your emotions and I feel trapped . .
He says: Nothing.
His saying nothing means that he doesn”t know what to say, and he would be horrified if he realised he is probably distressing you further. While tears are a natural way for women to express emotion, men are solution focused and want the women to stop crying. They should know that when girls cry, all they want is comfort or reassurance.
Conversation on marriage:
He says: “I can”t wait for the day I walk you down the aisle.”
He means: I love you.
She hears: Our relationship will only be truly committed when we are married. Nothing else is good enough.
She thinks: I love you but I”ve told you that I”m not interested in marriage.
Linda said that usually people perceive marriage as it was for their parents-happy or unhappy. So, a couple needs to sit together and talk about what marriage means to each of you in order to reach a compromise. Keep in mind that if it didn”t work out for your parents, it doesn”t mean that it won”t work for you as well. In case your partner has negative views on marriage, try to challenge their negative ideas with positives. (ANI)
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