‘Men do cry’, says Bangalore’s men’s rights group (Nov 19 is International Men’s Day)
November 18th, 2009 - 6:26 pm ICT by IANS
- Bangalore, Nov 18 (IANS) As the world celebrates International Men’s Day Thursday, a Bangalore-based group wants an end to stereotyping male gender, and says men too get hurt, both emotionally and physically. The group is demanding justice for various social abuses against men.
“Men are always stereotyped. They are considered as perpetrators of injustice against women, they are supposed to take financial care of the entire family and not cry even in harshest of conditions,” Kumar Jahgirdar, a senior member of All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA), formed to protect male rights, told IANS.
“We want to say that men do cry and they too suffer,” added Jahgirdar.
AIMWA is an initiative of Bangalore based NGO Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), working for protection of the Indian family system and values.
Main grouses of men’s rights activists are lack of legal protection for men and non-existence of any commissions for men or ministry dedicated for males’ rights, akin to women.
“If we look back, in the last 62 years of Indian Independence not a single rupee has ever been allocated for men’s welfare from the union budget. Not a single constitutional or quasi-constitutional body has ever been formed to study men’s issues, not a single study ever conducted to study men’s issues, and not a single scheme ever been envisaged for men’s welfare,” said Virag Dhulia, a senior member of AIMWA.
“Hence, in the backdrop of this emptiness, the government and the society have absolutely no locus-standi to deny accepting men’s issues or avoid addressing them. And it is this emptiness which has led to the formation of AIMWA, to study men’s issues and demand for a national commission for men and men’s welfare ministry,” added Dhulia.
International Men’s Day is an international event celebrated Nov 19, every year. It was started in 1999 in Trinidad and Tobago and supported by the United Nations.
The objectives of celebrating an International Men’s Day include focusing on the health of men and boys, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality, and highlighting positive male role models.
It is an occasion for men to highlight discrimination against them and to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care.
Members of AIMWA also stressed that expectations from men have skyrocketed and that is causing a lot of harm to the entire Indian family system.
“Today men are expected to take care of extended families of parents, siblings, wife, in-laws and provide for them, undertake the primary financial responsibility of the house even if the wife is well-qualified, well-earning and capable of sharing the financial load. Moreover, lots of men have of late become victims of misuse of Section 498A and Domestic Violence Act,” said Dhulia.
“However, men have no forum to address these issues. As a result, men find emotional confrontations extremely painful and most men contemplate suicide during emotional turmoil in their relationship and a reasonable percentage of them actually commit suicide,” added Dhulia.
According to statistics available with National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), 52,583 married men committed suicide compared to 28,188 married women in 2005, 55,452 married men committed suicide compared to 29,869 married women in 2006, and 57,593 married men committed suicide vis-à-vis 30,064 married women in 2007.
“Statistics say that married men are a harassed lot and are forced to commit suicide more than married women. But, still nobody talks about men’s rights and we want a change in the attitude,” said Dipankar Dutta, a Bangalore based bank executive.
“Hope sooner or later government and the society realizes the problems of men and bring justice to them,” added Jahgirdar.
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Posted in Health Science, |
January 29th, 2010 at 11:44 pm
TO WHOM SO EVER CONCERN
To start of my story , I was Married on 20-12- 2008 just after the day of marriage , my wife did not really love me by heart she was just acting as if to show she cares me so much ,Initially she started to ask me money then opening of joint account since I will be going back to join my duties and then about properties I own so on, this made me think things beyond but still I did not tell anything initially because I was not sure and secondly what would my parents feel having a arranged marriage where we were told she would be a good Wife , good Daughter in law …. So on she was Graduated MBA she would take care of in laws take care of Husband and good home maker ,Educated and Cultured and simple girl she dresses simple does not like Artificially Beauty was all promised .
After 15-20 days I left to Saudi Arabia to join back to duty and she was in Matrimonial house where in ground floor parents stay ,1st floor Brothers family stays and 2nd floor I have my house. Since the Kitchen is common and its all in the Ground floor we join for food.just after one week her Uncle by Name Abdul Basher started visiting her regularly to our house sometimes taking her in the pretext of some function ,marriage party with out the knowledge of my Father in law , though on the other side I was working out Visa approval to take here to Reside with me.
On 6th of May 2009 the said Uncle Abdul Basher along with his Wife Naseema took her Sameena Kauser (my wife)saying to my Mother she had to attend a Marriage at Kolar for one Week but we came to know she was with her Uncle at Kodi halli ,Airport Road Bang alore but later her Uncle Basher when called said she don’t have plan to come back to the Matrimonial home then the matter was communicated to my Father in law meanwhile her Uncle called me on my No to Riyadh in Saudi Arabia and asked me to get back to India by next 15days failing that I shall face the trouble ,with sudden developments I informed my Parents they told me all the facts that had happened these days at Home.though before Marriage all facts were revealed about my work ,process of taking Family etc it was then gladly accepted now Abdul Basher got involved in the matter saying they have changed mind and want me to settle down in Bangalore with a separate residence near to the house of Abdul Basher since from 6th may my wife has been staying with her uncle s house and did not return Back.
On 11th October 2009 at 11.30am in absence of my Father my Wife, Sameena Kauser her Uncle Abdul Basher his Wife Naseema along with Bashers in laws , my Wifes Brother came to our house forcibly entered inside pushing aside my Mother and Brother took the Room keys of 2nd floor house took away all the jewels costly personel belongings mean while the same was informed to Subramanya Nagar Police Station by phone where 02 Constables came as they saw Basher Moving in Tata Sumo were part of incident.
Each time Abdul Basher visited our house he has regularly Threatened to our Family to file Criminal cases and Dowry Harassment from mid of January 2009 finally on 27th Nov 2009 he filed a false complaint vide PCR 26169 at 6th ACMM Court against my self my Father my Mother ,my Sister and my Brother Crime was Regd as 74 /2009 under sections 307,448, 323,498a,R/W 109,34 IPC, R/W3,4,6 of D P act.. I was sent to Judicial Custody on 30th Nov 2009 and Released on 11th Dec 2009 on Bail by Addl Sessions judge 4th fast track court while all others got Anticipatory Bail on 9th Dec 2009.with intention that I not get Bail for longer period.
Even after that Abdul Basher has been threatening us, that he will file more cases and he wanted us to take the girl back to our house or pay them all the expenses they would ask in a settlement though we asked him to go to our Advocate and speak with him he is not ready to go there and wants us to settle the matter is being the latest as of Jan end 2010.