WWE Raw: JR, Trish Stratus & SnookiMarch 15th, 2011 - 1:15 pm ICT by Angela Kaye Mason
Mar 15 (THAINDIAN NEWS) As ‘WWE Monday Night Raw’ began, The Rock was seen once again, via satellite, reinforcing Cena’s accusation that he is never there. Rock was seated at a desk, talking about John Cena on the phone. He was speaking of how much the John Cena segment stunk, and stated, “I tried to talk to him like a man, and he just acted like a child,” just before Cena’s music began. But it was not John Cena who entered, but a small boy, dressed as Cena. Rock addressed the boy as if he were John Cena, and ended up making the boy “cry.” But he had a gift for the John Cena-child…a box of “Fruity Pebbles’ which made the boy run off excitedly.
Meanwhile, the Rock turned to the camera, and addressed the Miz. “Hello, Miz,” Rock said. “You’re right, we have not been properly introduced.” Rock added that although the Miz had been talking trash last week, that the time for trash talking was over.
The Miz soon came out the the ring to give his response to the Rock, telling him that if Rock stepped into the ring with him, he would make Rock cry like a little girl. He also added that the Rock does not own John Cena, Miz does. As he ranted on, the Raw General Manager interrupted, via Michael Cole and email. Jerry Lawler refused to let Cole read it, however, and stood to do so himself. Cole was sent back to his enclosed booth, called the “Cole Mine.”
The GM arranged two first time ever matches for The Miz and John Cena. John Cena will face the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, Alberto Del Rio. The Miz will face the Great Khali…immediately. Khali was pretty much beating the crap out of Miz until Alex Riley interfered, causing Khali to be distracted enough for Miz to beat him with a steel chair and win the match.
Backstage, Vickie Guerrero verbally attacks “Snooki” from the television hit ‘Jersey Shore’, calling her a loser and telling her to stay away from Dolph. “What’s your problem?” Snooki asks Vickie. Vickie asked Snooki if she thinks she is special just because she was in ‘Rolling Stone Magazine? “I was offered the cover of ‘Playboy’, Vickie added. “Well, it must have been the centerfold,” Snooki replied, “Because there is no way to get all that on one page.” (Yes, Vickie is chubby, but then again, so is Snooki..?) As Vickie drew back to slap Snooki, the slap was blocked by the Jersey Shore girl, and Snooki slapped Vickie before walking off with John Morrison.
Sheamus then made his way to the ring for his battle with Daniel Bryan. If Bryan wins, Sheamus has agreed to leave the WWE. Instead of leaving, however, Sheamus became the new United States Champion by winning the match.
Michale Cole then stood to announce that he was bringing a live guest out from the past who was going to expose Jerry the King Lawler for what he really is. Just last week, Cole’s special guest was JBL, who was supposed to sign the contract to be the special guest referee in the Wrestlemania match between Cole and Lawler. Instead, Stone Cold Steve Austin took over and signed the contract himself. This week’s special guest? Grand Master Sexay, Brian Christopher.
Michael Cole asked Brian why he never used his real name…Brian Lawler. Brian explained that he had never felt like he had a father. “While Jerry Lawler was off traveling the world….he neglected one thing…me.” He looked at Lawler and said, “You never wanted anything or anyone to get in your spotlight. That is why when I made it on my own to the WWE, you would not even acknowledge that I was your son.” Lawler told him that he is not the only one who is glad that he did not use the family name. “You are a bigger screw-up than Charlie Sheen. Just the fact that you associate with a jack-a$$ like Michael Cole, shows what kind of person you are.”
Brian asked Jerry how it felt that he had competed in Wrestlemania before his dad. He kept slapping at his own father, and asked taunted him. “You just gonna sit there…aren’t you Daddy? Let’s get one thing straight…the reason I never used your name is because I am ashamed of you.” As Cole continued his verbal assault of Jerry, JR came out…bringing a deafening applause from the audience.
“Don’t you think this has gone far enough?” JR asked, speaking of Lawler’s mother dying, and then Cole bringing out his son to attack him. “This has gone far enough.” Jim Ross, aka JR, spoke of his years as an announcer right beside of Lawler, and told Michael Cole that the real voices of the WWE were in the audience. As he went to leave, Cole taunted him about running off with his tail between his legs, so JR stepped back into the ring, removed his coat and tie, and prepared to fight Cole man to man.
But just then, Jack Swagger attacked Lawler from behind, and then jumped on JR. Apparently Cole cannot fight hos own battles. Wonder how that will work at Wrestlemania. Lawler ran to the ring to defend JR, and was beaten down by Swagger as well. Once Swagger did all the work, Cole grabbed JR by the ankle, and did an ankle lock on him. The entire audience booed as Swagger and Cole raised their arms as if they had won something.
Randy Orton won his match against Mason Ryan, as he takes down each member of Nexus one by one every week, assuring that he will face CM Punk alone at Wrestlemania. Randy finished off Ryan in the same way he did the rest of Nexus…with a boot to the skull.
Snooki came out to the ring and said she cannot wait to see Trish Stratus beat Vickie Guerrero. Vickie was to battle Trish last night in an effort to get her job back. If Vickie wins, she will be given a job with the WWE, if not, she is out for good. Trish took off Vickie’s shoe, and spanked her with it. But LayCool came out to help, and all three of them pinned Trish for the win. So Vickie will be given a job on Monday Night Raw. After the win, Snooki came out to beat Layla, as Trish went for Michelle McCool. An angry Vickie demanded a match between Snooki-Trish-and John Morrison against LayCool and Dolph Zigler. Snooki accepted for the newly formed team.
John Cena made his way to the ring to meet Alberto Del Rio for the first time ever. Cena managed to dominate the match, and Del Rip received quite a beating, until Brutus Clay interrupted, and began to hammer away on Cena. Just then, the Rock’s music began, and a bald (it was later revealed to be fake, made-up bald head) Miz with a Rock t shirt and shades on came out to attack Cena as well. With three against one, Cena did not stand a chance, and the Miz used the situation to his advantage, causing as much harm to Cena as possible. As the fight between the two went outside the ring, Cena managed to get in a few good punches, but the damage had been done.
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Tags: accusation, contender, crap, del rio, dolph, fruity pebbles, gm, great khali, jerry lawler, jersey shore, john cena, little girl, loser, miz, monday night raw, steel chair, talking trash, trish stratus, world heavyweight championship, wwe raw