Washington, November 17 (ANI): Brooke Shields has revealed that she felt suicidal after giving birth to her child because of a post-partum depression.

The actress recollected the events while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan.

“We think and we feel that we should just be able to handle it on our own. I’ve always been strong enough to get through every single difficult situation in my life,” People magazine quoted her as saying.

The actress, who is mom to two girls, Rowan, 6, and Grier, 3, added: “I grew up in an addictive household. My mother [Teri] had acute alcoholism. It’s in my blood. I was never going to be the one to succumb to it.”

The ‘Rubbig Wild’ star had a miscarriage and seven IVF attempts, before giving birth to daughter Rowan in 2003 with her husband, TV writer Chris Henchy.

She said: “I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t hold her and I couldn’t sing to her and I couldn’t smile at her … All I wanted to do was disappear and die.

“I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better - so I better just go.

“That was the week I almost did not resist driving my car straight into a wall on the side of the freeway.

“My baby was in the back seat and that even pissed me off because I thought she’s even ruining this for me.

“I just wanted to drive into the wall and my friend stayed on the phone with me and made me safely get home.”

However, the beauty learnt through a doctor that she was suffering from a chemical imbalance.

She said: “I learned what was going on inside my body and what was going on inside my brain. I learned I wasn’t doing anything wrong to feel that way. That it was actually out of my control.

“If I had been diagnosed with any other disease, I would have run to get help. I would have worn it like a badge … I didn’t at first - but finally I did fight. I survived.” (ANI)