My reply to his argument was that yoga should also result in normal blood pressure and not higher. Which made him listen to me for a while.

Having him accept the idea that there is possible stress factor in his life, I had won half the battle. Second step in therapy was to identify the source of stress. Before even starting to understand the process of managing stress, one needs to find the source of stress. For some, it is work related, for some it is relationship, for some it is basically diet related. It takes a while to identify the source of stress and then rest of the process becomes walk in the park.

After almost an hours talk with him, I discovered that Mahesh was suffering from fear of failing in his commitment to his wife of keeping her happy. So lovely of him to be concerned about his wife's well being. This very sense of duty and responsibility had become his box. Every moment of his life, he was thinking about this situation. Doubting it if he is doing it right or not. Wondering all the time if his wife was happy or not.

This box, in fact cut him off from the rest of the world. Including his wife, that he was so concerned about. This always lead to sense of avoiding her subconsciously. He didn't want to face her because he feared some kind of failure.

This internal dilemma of performance, created the stress in his life and eventually it started showing negative results on his health and also affected his personal relationship.

His clue to think out of box was this affirmation phrase. 'You can't give what you don't have. Can you?'

You love someone very dear and you want to make them happy. You want to bring joy and laughter in their life. You want to give all that goodness to them. Here is where my question comes in. You can't give what you don't have. Are you happy in the first place? Do you really enjoy this life? If not, you can't bring that to your loved ones. Even the fact that you are probably stressing out just like Mahesh, trying to give happiness to loved ones, but eventually you may end up like him. Shouting and screaming at the very person you want to make happy.

To break that barrier of 'box', repeat this phrase to yourself. 'I can't give what I don't have.' This affirmation phrase assisted with some training in deep breathing helped Mahesh calm down and take control of his life and has since then been able to manage his stress.

Remember, stress is part of life and one cannot avoid it. What one can do is to learn to manage it.

Methods I use are affirmation, deep breathing, rational thinking, creative visualisation, dietary suggestions, some form of exercise, aroma therapy and at times, nothing. As mentioned once earlier, there is no one method that is applicable to all. For every individual case, the method as to be equally individual.

Do send in comments and questions. I will take up another case in my next article and show how thinking outside the box helps people cope with pressures of modern life and live happily and healthy.
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Next: No sir, I am not stressed.